Northern Virginia dating scene
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Based on your responses to Tyler?s?dilemma?this week, it is common for couples to attempt a friendship with each other after breaking up. After all, the sudden separation from your best friend can cause you to feel out of whack. But readers agree that remaining close with your ex can prove to be more painful.?
??My ex and I tried staying just ?friends? but it never turned out well; there was jealousy and anger involved that clearly made me decide to cut ties completely. It was the best decision I ever made even though it didn?t seem so at the time.? ? Felicia
??I have had a long distance relationship for about 6 months and to be honest with you, it was a waste of time. Sometimes I would even have to stay up late just to chat with the significant other because she was ?bored? or felt like I didn?t give enough time? It would be much healthier having a local relationship than long distance?? ? Sid
??I was in a long distance relationship (between Michigan and Texas!) while in college and we ended up breaking up with one another due to the difficulties of being away from each other. We tried to be friends for a while but both of us still had feelings for one another and it was VERY hard to comfortably talk as ?friends.? After a few months of being apart we met up in Tennessee and found that we both missed each other terribly and got back together. I moved to Texas and we have been together for 3 more years! I am very happy and love him a great deal! Things happen for a reason and if you talk through what you are feeling with your partner (and sometimes yourself) you can often be very happy with situations you never thought would work.? ? Caitlen
??I was friends with an ex for a while and we always had a close relationship where we would even talk about other people we were interested and never got jealous?or so I thought. Come to find out he only wanted to be friends to remain close to me until he had the courage to tell me he had stronger feelings for me than before and that he wanted a relationship again. Of course, I didn?t feel the same. I don?t think Tyler?s ex will get over him if they continue talking. Also, if Tyler were to even want a relationship with someone else, I don?t think it would sit very well with her to have him talking to an ex girlfriend, especially since they visit one another?? ? Laina
??Tyler predicts that he won?t have a good relationship with his ex, yet I think he should try dating her to see the result. Now that they are matured from college, they can now handle the long distance stress a lot better. If they were able to stay in contact for an x amount of years, that shows that both are satisfied with each other and that they should get back together. I feel like Tyler will be surprised to find a different and hopefully better relationship with his ex.? ? Dode
?? I was in a long distance relationship with my first boyfriend about a year and a half ago?however the long distance was killing us so we decided to take a break after 2 years of being together?You want to know something funny, a couple of months ago he called me and apologized about everything and asked me to be in a relationship with me again. WAIT, What?? It took you a year to realize what you lost; I find that very funny. I said to him, ?Sweetheart, I moved on and I don?t have the same feelings and respect I had for you before.? Since then I don?t even want to be his friend or associate with him in any kind of way?? ? Solan
???I am still in touch with my ex, but I really feel what Tyler is saying. Sometimes I feel like my ex wants to get back together, but in no way do I. I don?t really know why we are still friends. We broke up on good terms, but our relationship was tumultuous?sometimes you just need to be aware and move on.? ? Elizabeth
??These situations are never easy because by confessing how she feels; the friendship is no longer on a mutual level of understanding?? ? Alexis
??I am still in touch with my ex, but I cannot handle it. I am in a similar situation where I am debating on whether or not to sever ties with her or not. In this situation, I am in the ex girlfriend?s position because I still have feelings for my ex girlfriend, and she just takes it for granted and does not understand my feelings. I know that it is tough to keep talking to your ex girlfriend and my advice for Tyler is that before anything worse happens, it?s just better to sever ties now?? ? ?Clint Eastwood?
?I think Tyler and his ex can be friends as long as he does not lead her on?If his mouth is saying one thing and his actions are saying another thing, it will be very confusing for the ex. Once Tyler makes it clear that he does not want a relationship, then the ex girlfriend can make the decision about continuing the friendship. Therefore, leaving Tyler with no decisions to make.? ? Jocelyn
??If I was Tyler I would say that there is a reason why they broke up and that they both should find someone who lives near them. I too keep a friendship with my ex but we both have an understanding that we are just friends and nothing more?? ? Anonymous
?I went through the same situation with my ex 3 years ago and it was a major failure. We had dated throughout middle school and high school and I moved to the states; that?s when things started going south. The only way we could talk, if we did, was through Skype or oovoo. Our schedules didn?t match most of the time so I?d be lucky to talk to her once a week. In one instance, over a month passed without contact and she got mad and broke the whole thing off and she moved on so quickly and hooked up with one of my childhood friends out the millions of guys she could hook up with. That kind of broke my heart. So I?d say to Tyler, go ahead and sever ties with her cause long distance relationships fail 9 times out of 10, according to me.?
? Isaac T.
??I was so into my ex boyfriend that it took me a while to move on. Even though it was hard for me to stop communicating with him it helped me to move on?? ? JoJo
???I actually am friends with an ex, but not close enough to text or call. That?s probably why we haven?t had these issues. We are more along the lines of ?Facebook friends? then anything else and I wouldn?t change that.? ? Steve
?I think it depends on the relationship and how it ended. To be honest, most of my relationships ended terribly and I have never spoken to them again?Tyler should sever ties with his ex before things become too complicated?? ? Tracey
??Tyler will just lead her on if he continues to keep a friendship with her. I think it?s really hard for a man and woman to ?just be friends? after they were once close?.With time, I?m sure she?ll be able to find someone in her own area who will want to be in a relationship with her.? ? Becky
??If it was an extremely deep relationship back in college, it might not be the best because there could be weak moments of relapsing that neither party?needs to go through?? ? GMU Boy
??His ?just friends? with his ex might get in the way of something bigger and better. I personally still am friends with two exes. I do not have friendly visits, but they have asked for some extended stays. I personally do not agree with that because someone always ends up hurt?? ? Busy Bee
??It?s great that he has moved on and is able to maintain a friendship with her. But if she hasn?t moved on as well, then this friendship will hurt her day by day?? ? Happy Orange
??People make things and relationships so complicated. I think they stay friends or don?t be anything at all.? ? Bobby
??make it very clear to her that he doesn?t feel the same. It will probably hurt her feelings for a bit, but in the long run it will give her closure and make it easier for her to move on.? ? Jane
Thanks readers! E-mail your dating or relationship questions, dilemmas, and/or anecdotes to me at littleredbook@northernvirginiamag.com.
-Katie
Tags: Dating, Katie Greenan, Little Red Book, Northern Virginia, NoVA, nova mag, relationships
Source: https://www.northernvirginiamag.com/little-red-book/2012/09/27/x-amount-of-space-needed/
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